


I Want You

by wicciangirl



Series: I Want You [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:16:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wicciangirl/pseuds/wicciangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The evolution of Kris and Adam’s relationship. This can read as a stand-alone fic but was written as a prequel to Down Goes Another One.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want You

**Author's Note:**

> I know none of these people, nor do I own them, they own themselves. This story is completely fictional.

On tangled sheets, Kris was lying next to Adam, head propped up on one arm so that he could look at Adam’s face. He would never get enough of this, of being able to see the real Adam and not the mask he presented to the world. It humbled him to know that he was the one Adam relaxed his guard around, he was the one allowed to hold Adam and soothe his pain when the pressures of fame was too much to bear.

“You’re beautiful, you know.” Kris said with as grin.

Adam smiled, “So you always say.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true. I’ve missed you,” Kris said honestly.

Adam said seriously, “I’ve missed you, too. Kris, you’ve got no idea how much it hurts me to see you with her, to know that at night you will be going home to her. Katy can give you the family, the white picket fence life and... I cannot compete with that. I lie here alone with my heart being torn to shreds thinking about you in bed with her.“

A tear falling down his face Kris vowed, “I am just as hollow without you and I want to be with you. Adam, I don’t want the white picket fence and the perfect children, I just want you. I'll tell her, I just wanted to wait until she was settled and found a job. It’s not as if it will come as a big surprise to her. I haven’t touched her in seven months; she knows I don’t want to be with her.”

“Some people are good at denial, Kris. She might be thinking that it’s because of stress or something.”

Kris kissed Adam’s cheek saying softly, “Yeah. I'll tell her tomorrow and come home to you.”

Now he and Adam could start their new life together as they had talked about for the last two months and two wonderful weeks since they became romantically involved. They had sex on numerous occasions before that but it was strictly a friends with benefits kind of thing. They had agreed they would not end up in a relationship; they wouldn’t let it change anything.

They had first slept together the night before the finale and it had been amazing but something they had thought would be a one off. Kris could remember every detail of the first night they had sex, it was the night before the final.

Flashback

Still buzzing with nervous excitement Kris walked into the lounge, taking in the sight of Adam dancing around the living room, practising the moves to the Santana number for their performance on the results show the next night.

 Adam looked amazing, the way he was moving his hips was so sensual, seductive and arousing. No matter how many times he saw Adam dance, Kris was always affected by it, need and desire surged through him. Kris couldn’t deny it, he wanted Adam. It wasn’t just Adam’s devastatingly attractive body that he was attracted to, the man’s spirit and soul was just as enchanting.

Kris wanted to caress Adam’s skin, to feel the man moving against him, to feel Adam inside him. Kris knew he should have been scared by his sudden attraction to another man but he wasn’t, it wasn’t just any man he was attracted to – it was Adam. The beautiful man was one of the most important people in his life, his anchor, best friend and confidante. He couldn’t imagine his life without Adam and it was because of that that he was worried about approaching Adam about having sex with the man. He knew Adam was attracted to him, the man had admitted it the week that they had become roommates with a quirky reassuring grin.

“Are you okay Kris?”

Kris smiled as his attention returned from the room and Adam who was standing just in front of him.

Hearing his friend’s worry Kris nodded saying, “Yeah. I was just thinking about you.”

“Really, do tell,” Adam said with a smirk.

Kris decided to bite the bullet; the worst that could happen would be that Adam would turn him down and if so Kris wouldn’t let that change their relationship.

Kris said honestly, “I was just thinking about how devastatingly beautiful you are, how much I want you. I want to feel you inside me.”

Adam stared at Kris in amazement, sure he must be daydreaming because there was no way he could be hearing Kris saying that he wanted to have sex with him. Kris was straight. Before he could open his mouth to question what his friend had said, Kris’s mouth was on his with a passion that took his breath away.

For a second, Adam froze before surrendering to his own desires; he needed this, needed Kris. He had wanted Kris since the first time they had met; sitting beside the man way back in the Hollywood auditions was torture. He had never felt such an instant connection and attraction to someone. Adam had gone to bed realising that he wasn’t just thinking about fucking Kris until they couldn’t move, he was thinking about having Kris in his life long term.  As he and Kris had started talking, the brunette had mentioned Katy and Adam realised his dreams would amount to nothing. He couldn’t help loving Kris though or wanting him.

Unwilling to take advantage of his friend Adam asked, “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you freaking out and hating me later.”

If Kris had even the slightest doubt in his mind, Adam would stop it from going any further. He didn’t want to cause Kris any pain.

Kris said passionately, “Yeah. I know we’ve only got tonight but I want you Adam, more than anything. I'm not going to regret this and I'm not going to let tonight make us uncomfortable with each other.”

In response, Adam pulled Kris into a passionate kiss, their hands moving over each other’s bodies as they kissed. Somehow during their passionate kissing, they each managed to take of each other’s t-shirts, the feeling of skin on skin contact made them both moan in desire. Kris whimpered in distress when Adam pulled back.

Adam truly hated to pull away from Kris’ delightful kisses but there was the small matter of the cameras that covered the house. He was certain Kris wouldn’t want a sex tape to suddenly appear, it was risky enough that they had kissed without a thought as to the cameras being monitored in office somewhere.  Adam led Kris to the bedroom eager to get them onto a bed so he could take his time fulfilling as many of his Kris fantasies as possible before they had to sleep.

As soon as they stepped into the bedroom, Adam pushed Kris against the now closed door and with a quick wicked grin fell to his knees in front of his lover. Adam mouthed Kris’s hard cock through the denim of his jeans, delighting in the resulting shiver.

Kris’s hands went into Adam’s hair, pulling roughly on it, causing the kneeling man to look up at him with lust-filled eyes. Kris wanted to feel Adam’s mouth on him, to see those full beautiful lips around his cock but he was too close to coming and he wanted to come with Adam inside him.

“I want to come with you inside me,” Kris said heatedly.

Adam nodded and gracefully stood; letting Kris move to the bed, admiring the way Kris smoothly discarded his jeans and boxers as he walked. The sight of Kris’s cock, standing out hard and leaking made Adam’s mouth water. He vowed that he would have it inside his mouth before the night was over.

With a quick wicked grin, Kris lay down on the firm mattress and unconsciously licking his lips as Adam undressed with a grace and finesse that Kris admired. He was struck dumb as Adam stalked towards him with a dirty smile.

Adam knew it wouldn’t be as soft and gentle first as he had had fantasised about for months but they were both too worked up to last long. They could do slow and soft later, now they needed it fast, hard and rough.

Adam long fingers instinctively went to Kris’s hair gently tugging in time with his kisses to Kris’s neck and throat. He quickly glanced at Kris’s face, seeing the way the man was biting his full red lips, Adam traced those beautiful lips with his right index finger and shivered when Kris took them into his hot, wet mouth. It felt amazing to have Kris sucking on him and he never wanted it to end but he wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer.

Adam kissed and licked his way down Kris’s body, paying special attention to the areas that made Kris whimper or hiss in pleasure. He had just reached Kris’s stomach when the man’s hands came to rest on his head, just stroking his hair.

“Adam, I can’t hold on much longer. I need to have you inside me now!” Kris demanded.

Seeing the same desperation in Adam’s eyes, Kris grabbed the nearest pillow and passed it to the other man arching up so that it could be placed underneath him. Adam took the pillow and gently placed it underneath Kris’s ass.

Reassured Kris was comfortable; Adam opened the drawer of his bedside table, fumbling around until he found a condom and lube. Adam quickly prepared himself before focusing his attention on Kris’s beautifully pert ass. He gently placed one lube-covered finger into Kris; pushing in and out until he was content, the man was ready for more.

Kris couldn’t believe the feelings, the sensations running through him as Adam played his body like a violin. He had never reacted to anyone so passionately or wantonly, Adam made his body sing. He couldn’t believe he was going to have to give this up, that he would not be able to experience such passion and joy with Adam again.

Kris hissed slightly when Adam’s cock finally entered him, he couldn’t believe that it was really happening that he had Adam inside him as he had been dreaming about for months. Adam stilled just inside him, obviously waiting for some sign that Kris was ready. One he had caught his breath Kris pushed back, groaning loudly as Adam’s cock left him only to be quickly pushed back in.

Kris arched up into Adam’s touch, surrendering to the pleasure burning through him. They moved together. Kris reached out, caressing every part of Adam’s flawless skin that he could reach, loving that he got to see Adam losing control of him. He was the reason why Adam’s sweat slicked hair was sticking up at weird angles. Kris was flying high as Adam rammed into him over and over, each thrust carefully angled to hit Kris’s prostate.

Kris could feel a tingling at the base of his spine and knew he was going come soon. Kris pulled on Adam’s head; the man simply looked at Kris before quickening his pace. Kris reached down and took started stroking his cock in counterpoint to Adam’s thrusts. Soon Kris was coming, causing his lover to come soon after with the echoes of each other’s name echoing in the large room.

End Flashback.

Kris and Adam had solemnly vowed after their first night together that it wouldn’t happen for both their sakes but then came the American Idol tour and with it the return of their sexual relationship. Neither one was able to spend so much time in such close contact without succumbing to their desires. It was an open secret amongst the idol singers, who all agreed at the start of the tour that what happened on tour stayed on tour. Even now, over two and a half years later no one knew about them.

It had been difficult but Kris and Adam had returned to a platonic relationship after the tour, well an admittedly very close platonic relationship. The end of their sexual relationship did not mean the end of their close physical contact during their time as the concept of personal space no longer existed between them. If they wanted to hug or put an arm around each other’s backs or waists then they would, regardless of their surroundings or what rumours it would generate. 

Kris had attempted to make his marriage work even going to couple’s counselling and pretending that he didn’t know why he and Katy were having problems when the reason was perfectly clear to Kris. He had fallen in love with Adam. He had watched Adam date five admittedly amazing men since the tour who all seemed to care about the dark haired singer and had felt jealous of every one. Perhaps, he shouldn’t have muscled in on so much on the free time Adam should have been spending with his boyfriend but he couldn’t help it. Katy had pointedly suggested that he shouldn’t spend so much time with Adam when the man just started seeing a new man but Kris had simply ignored her words.  He was certain Adam didn't mind since the man would simply tell him to fuck off if he was in the way, Adam always spoke his mind. On more than one occasion, Kris had been there when Adam’s boyfriends had dumped him saying that Adam wasn’t giving them enough attention. He knew it was because Adam spent a lot of time with him.

Nine months ago Kris realised he couldn’t stay with Katy and had started thinking about what he was going to do, the first thing that came to his mind was to tell Adam that he was in love with him. Kris had worked quickly, making appointments to see a discrete lawyer so that he would everything in place for when he did leave Katy. He knew Adam would not want to start dating him at that point; he would have to convince Adam that he was serious about wanting to be with him and divorcing Katy. He vowed that day not to have sex with Katy again; it felt like a chore not a pleasure. At that point he and Katy only had sex once a week, but from that day, forth he would not sleep with her again. He could not do it any longer; having sex with Katy made feel guilty, as though he was betraying Adam.

Flashback

Adam frowned when Kris came into the room and immediately hugged him; while they were always affectionate, it was unusual for Kris to immediately hug him when they met without so much as an hello. Adam returned the hug, holding on tightly, breathing in Kris’s scent and focused on willing his arousal away. Although they had had stopped their friends with benefits relationship; his feelings for Kris had never changed, he had just focused on keeping their relationship strictly platonic. He had plenty of experience at hiding his emotions, but Kris probably didn’t fall for his act. Kris had an amazing ability to see through his masks, even ones that he had in perfected years before they met.

Snuggling into Adam’s side on the small grey sofa in the Oprah green room, Kris took a deep breath taking in Adam’s scent, the scent of safety, love, hope and desire. He couldn’t believe it had been three weeks since they had last seen each other but that was one of the problems with their chosen careers.

Kris said calmly, “Katy and I are over. I am not in love with her and I'm tired of living like this. I am going to ask her for a divorce, I just don't know how to do it. It’s not like it will be much of a shock to her. We don’t spend a lot of time together or have sex a lot. We’ve only had sex once a week at most for the last six months. I don’t want to sleep with her; I'm not in love with her. I feel...well...dirty when I sleep with her. Does that make sense?”

Hiding his shock Adam soothed, “It’ll be okay, baby. Do you want to come and live with me?”

Kris shook his head. “Not right now. I'm going to stay with her until she’s found somewhere to live and got her career sorted. She loves LA and her career is just taking off."

“Yeah. Whenever it gets too much, just come to my place or call me. I'm here for you. You can stay with me any time. Kris, I'm here for you. If you need anything, just let me know.”

“Thanks, Adam. Can we just stay here until we really have to move?” Kris said cherishing the feel of Adam’s arms around him.

“Of course,” Adam said gently.

Kris smiled in contentment and closed his eyes, trusting Adam to deal with any problems that could arise. It wasn’t like he cared if people saw him cuddled up to Adam; if people couldn’t deal with it then it was their problem.

End Flashback

Part 2

Adam smiled as he waited for Kris to come back from Katy’s knowing the man would be devastated if Katy took the news badly. Personally, Adam was sure that she must have some clue that Kris didn’t want to be with her even if she for some reason thought their problems would resolve themselves. Adam just hoped she wouldn’t attack Kris because the man was easily hurt and still wanted her as a friend...even if it would take a long time for that friendship to form. A part of Adam was still amazed that Kris actually wanted to be with him, he had assumed their relationship would remain strictly platonic after their amazing tour ended as they agreed during their post coital conversation on the tour's opening night.

Flashback

Adam looked up as Kris strolled into his apartment, a guitar slung over his shoulder as he absently hummed the melody of a new song he was writing. These little quirks made Kris so adorable, at least in Adam’s eyes.

“Hey, sweetie.” Kris said in greeting as he hugged Adam.

Sitting down Kris patted the sofa next to him saying, “Adam, we need to talk,”

Adam froze, those words never led to anything good, at least not in his experience. At least this time, Kris wouldn’t be breaking up with him so he wouldn’t end up gorging himself on ice cream to soothe his pain. Adam sat down on the black sofa, turning so that he and Kris were looking into each other’s eyes

“What’s wrong?” Adam asked anxiously.

Kris laughed lowly, “Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t know how to say this without messing it up,”

“Take a deep breath, Kris.” Adam instructed seeing how tense the man had become.

Kris closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. Knowing that Adam would give him a chance to organise his thoughts, Adam was amazing that way.

Taking Adam’s hand in his Kris said seriously, “I'm in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you since the idol tour ended but I was afraid to admit it. I'm not expecting anything from you; I just can’t keep it a secret any longer. ”

“Wow, you’re in love with me...really in love with me.” Adam said in amazement.

“Yes. I love you.” Kris confirmed gently.

Adam said sincerely, “I love you too; Kris but I won’t be your bit on the side...kept hidden like some sordid secret. I want you in my arms, my bed and my home permanently.”

Kris nodded, “So do I but I can’t leave Katy yet. I need to wait until she’s settled. It’s not like I'm having sex with her or anything. I don’t even see her a lot anymore. You are it for me, Adam. Would you do me the honour of being my partner?”

“Yes!” Adam exclaimed.

Kris pulled Adam into a deep kiss, finally after so long Adam was his. He was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with Adam and couldn’t wait to move in with the man. The only thing that was stopping him was his guilt at the thought of abandoning Katy in LA after taking her away from all her family and friends in Arkansas. As soon as she found herself a job Kris would leave her and go to Adam, he would just have to endure the pain of separation from Adam a little longer.

Adam knew it would be difficult to watch Kris act the part of the dutiful husband with Katy but it would be worth it in the end and he knew that Kris was his, regardless of what the world thought. Standing Adam pulled Kris towards the bedroom wanting to consummate their love, needing to see and feel Kris in his bed.

End Flashback

Adam returned to the present when Kris walked in, eyes bright with unshed tears. Kris rushed over to him; pulling Adam into a tight embrace feeling his tumultuous emotions calming the longer he was in the older man’s arms.

His breath against Adam’s throat Kris said, “Katy had no idea that I'm not in love with her anymore even though we haven't been spending time together or having sex. She actually begged me to stay with her, insisting that you could live with us and be my lover but she wanted to stay married to me. When I told her that I wanted to be with you and I could never do that because it would hurt you, she freaked.”

“I take it that’s when she slapped you?” Adam gently probed.

Kris nodded, “Yeah.  I just want to stay in your arms forever.”

“I’d like that, baby but the world goes on. We can’t let this break us, Kris. We knew Katy probably wouldn’t take the news well even if we did think it wouldn’t be a shock.”

“I should call Aaron,” Kris said referring to his divorce lawyer.

Adam nodded in agreement and passed Kris the phone from the table. He could see Kris was hurting over Katy’s reaction but Adam understood her pain, it would break him to lose Kris. Kris was amazing and he couldn’t imagine himself being with anyone else. He listened while Kris talked to his lawyer, knowing his partner would ask him for help if needed.

“Hi Aaron. It’s Kris Allen, I need you to get the ball rolling. I’ve told Katy earlier and I want to get everything sorted as quickly as possible.”

Kris listened carefully, nodding his head at the lawyer’s response before saying, “I'll keep quiet for a while but I’ve got an interview with Rolling Stone in two months and I'm going to come out...thanks.”

As Kris put the phone down, Adam turned to look at his love in amazement. They haven’t broached the subject of coming out but Kris had everything planned. It was marvelling how focused Kris could be once he set his heart on something

“So, we’re coming out soon? Are you ready for the storm it will create?”

“Yeah. I want to come out on my terms not before Katy smears our names and I figure it will take her a while to make a move against us.”

Adam nodded in understanding before pulling Kris to the bedroom, intending to make Kris forget all about the pain Katy had inflicted.

*******

Two months later, Kris smiled in satisfaction as he looked down at the article he had been eagerly anticipating. Now that it was done, he and Adam would be free to enjoy their lives together without being hounded by press and accusations. He could remember the look of shock on the interviewer’s face as he turned up with Adam in tow.

**Kris Allen’s secret Sexlife revealed!**

**by Lauren Mills**

When 2009 American Idol winner and America’s golden boy, Kris Allen walked into the room with glam-goth rocker Adam Lambert in tow, it was clear that it wouldn’t be your typical interview. While Adam took a seat on an out of the way sofa, a relaxed and happy Kris posed for some quick candid shots wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, not what you would expect from someone going through a divorce. In his most frank and revealing, interview ever, Kris Allen explains the true reason for his divorce and the truth behind the rumors.

 _Lauren:_ So how are you doing Kris?

 **Kris:** I'm great, better than I have been for a long time.

 _Lauren:_ So you are not reconsidering your decision to divorce?

 **Kris:** No. It shouldn’t really be much of a surprise to most people that I wasn’t happy with Katy. To be honest, halfway through the American Idol top ten, I started to realise my marriage to Katy was in trouble.

 _Lauren:_ Why was that?

 **Kris:** I fell in love...well lust at first, I suppose. Here I was married to a kind and beautiful woman but she wasn’t the one who made my heart race.

 _Lauren:_ Who did?

 **Kris:** Adam. He just blew into my life and everything changed...I changed. Adam and I had this instant connection, I knew I could be myself without any masks and he would understand. From the day we were placed in the same group in the top 36 auditions, Adam and I were very tactile with each other. If I felt like hugging him or placing an arm around him, I would and vice versa. It wasn’t a sexual thing, it was about connecting.

 _Lauren:_ So what changed?

 **Kris:** I was watching Adam dancing to some pop/electronic thing and I realised I was attracted to him. I became a nervous wreck around him for a while...I was a little freaked to find myself lusting after my male roommate. Adam says he just thought I was a little spacey for a while. I didn’t want it to change anything between us so I tried to keep a rein on my emotions. I didn’t want anything to change our relationship; Adam was and still is my best friend.

 _Lauren:_ So did you do anything about your attraction?

 **Kris:** I...asked Adam if we could have just one night together the night before the final show. I was terrified he would say no. He didn’t and we had an amazing night together, it felt like the perfect way to end everything. It was horrible to let go of him the next morning but we both knew we had to go back to our normal lives. We never thought it would be anything more than a wonderful night.

 _Lauren:_ What happened after that?

 **Kris:** The American Idol tour. We started sleeping together again on the tour. It was heaven and hell for me, on one hand, I couldn’t keep away from him and on the other, I knew it couldn’t continue. I didn’t want to hurt anyone; it was just that the pull between us couldn’t be denied. We knew we wouldn’t start dating or anything...it was a best friends with benefits thing.

 _Lauren:_ Did anyone else know about your relationship?

 **Kris:** Yeah, the others on the tour. It was obvious really, when Adam and I would sleep in the same bedroom and turn up the next day with love bites, or disappear for hours and come back dishevelled. No one would say anything since we all made an agreement that what happened on tour stayed on tour.

 _Lauren:_ Did you continue to have sex after the tour ended?

 **Kris:** Nope. We went on with our lives...I went back to Katy and Adam went back to his boyfriend. I was so jealous when I saw Adam with someone new. Crazy, I know since I had Katy. I hated someone else having Adam’s attention so I would spend as much time with Adam as possible. Adam and I remained best friends and lived only fifteen minutes away from each other. Adam, Katy and I used to go out a lot together. Obviously, that is not happening any more.

 _Lauren:_ What happened next?

 **Kris:** Eighteen months ago, I realised I had fallen for Adam and I was miserable without him. I coped with the pain, with my heart breaking into a thousand pieces whenever I saw Adam with someone new or heard him talk about his plans for the future, plans that didn’t involve me. Nine months ago, I decided I couldn’t stay with Katy any longer because I felt like I was betraying Adam. It was crazy really, because Adam didn’t even know how I felt about him.  I made an appointment to see a discrete lawyer to discuss everything. The next person I told about my plan to get divorced was Adam.

 _Lauren:_ How did Adam react?

 **Kris:** He understood without any details that I needed someone to be there for me, not to interrogate me over my decision. He just held me; it was enough to make me feel better. Even though I was the one who wanted to get divorced, I didn’t want to hurt Katy. Adam offered me a place to stay whenever I needed it, a haven for when everything became too much.

 _Lauren:_ When did you tell Adam how you felt?

 **Kris:** About four and a half months ago. I left it so long because I wanted Adam to know I wasn’t on the rebound, that I was serious about having a relationship with him. I was so awed when Adam said he would be my partner.

 _Lauren:_ Why didn’t you ask Katy for a divorce then?

 **Kris:** I wanted to make sure Katy she would have a way to support herself first. I didn’t want to leave her in LA without a job. I know she likes living here and LA is an expensive city.

 _Lauren:_ Did you feel guilty for having a relationship with Adam while married to Katy?

 **Kris:** I felt terrible when I saw how much it was hurting Adam to watch me leave him and go back to the house I shared with Katy. It almost broke me to watch Adam waiting for me to come back to him. That’s why I decided to ask Katy for a divorce two months ago. I couldn’t let him hurt anymore.

 _Lauren:_ So there is no truth to the rumours about you and Katy reconciling?

 **Kris:** None whatsoever. Adam is my partner and has been for months. He is my world and nothing would make me leave him or change my feelings. I would never go back to Katy.

 _Lauren:_ There have been rumours about a video making the rounds featuring you and an unidentified male.  Are they true?

 **Kris:** No, the only man I have ever been with is Adam and we don’t have any sex tapes wandering around...at least as far as I know.  As for the stories about me having a secret mistress who’s pregnant with my child, they are pure tabloid trash.

 _Lauren:_ So what is next for you?

 **Kris:** Adam and I are going to find somewhere to live, someplace that doesn’t hold any bad memories. As for the future, one day I want to have children.

 _Lauren:_ Thank you for your time, Kris.

 **Kris:** It was nice talking to you.

I watched as Kris Allen walked out of the room where Adam Lambert was waiting flipping through one of our old editions. Kris pounced on Adam from behind when Adam turned to face him; it was like the sun had come out from the clouds. Their happy, beaming faces said it all, regardless of what people might say about their relationship they were in love, it was just surprising that no one had noticed it earlier.

The End


End file.
